I feel like I need a Kit-Kat for how long my break from posting was!
Hey there! Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. We were enjoying the holidays but I also got hit with a massive wave of no motivation for anything that didn’t involve taking care of my daughter.
When I feel unmotivated, all I want to do is lay in bed, sleep and just look at my phone. I can’t do that anymore. I wish I could though…. It’s so hard for me to find the drive to do things when it goes away. I haven’t picked up a baton in 6 months. I’ve never gone this long without twirling. I keep thinking about going outside and twirling but it’s too cold for Morgan to be out there for as long as I want to be outside.
By no means am I saying she is holding me back from my goals or dreams, it is more that I need to figure out how to achieve them with her under my wing. This is the hardest thing I have to do. Motherhood is not easy, but DAMN is it rewarding.
Morgan has started saying mom essentially. At least I think she’s saying it. It’s more ” Om Om Om Om” but it’s close enough for me. She mainly does it during feeding time and I love it so much. I also can’t stand how cute James is with her, watching her smile and laugh at him and just seeing both of them happy makes me overcome with love and happiness. I’ll admit I have been super emotional since having her, so I cry a lot now a days.
Things in my house have been crazy, because I’m now typing 2 days after starting this post. It’s crazy how preoccupied my mind is now with Morgan around. I’m always thinking about things to do around the house and what needs to get done…then she does something cute and I’m laying on the floor with her grabbing my hair. I absolutely recommend being a stay at home momma if you can. I wish I had more income, but being able to watch her grow and learn first hand is amazing and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
This post is weird since I’m bouncing all over the place. I don’t really even know if there is a main topic to this other than Morgan.
Going back to the motivation part of this post, I really don’t feel much motivation to do anything. I know that I can clean house quietly while Morgan naps but for some reason now she gets SUPER upset when I vacuum if James isn’t holding her. She will scream and cry even when she can see me and see I’m smiling to show it’s okay. That is one big factor in me not cleaning house much. I have a Roomba that works perfectly fine, it’s just the amount of dog hair on the carpet I would have to run it multiple times to even make a dent in getting the hair out. I hate how lazy I was when Morgan was first born, but at the same time, I had a baby and need to stop being so hard on myself.
I am also realizing that I should probably start figuring out first birthday plans as Morgan is getting there and I have no idea if we are going to travel to family or stay home. I should get on that. But maybe next month.
Sorry I’m all over the place. I want to make meaningful posts but I just don’t have anything worth while to talk about at the moment.
This year, I hope to evolve with this blog, and as a person. I want to make family my first priority but also not let my home fall into disarray. I hope that you will join me on this journey and please give me any ideas for posts you would like to see!
See you soon!