This was written in July…..
I’ve noticed lately that I don’t feel like myself. Like I’m still called the same name, but it doesnt feel the same.
I was the one you couldn’t keep in one place too long. Always wanting to go out, hang with friends, and practice my baton twirling skills. I rarely had any free time and I wouldn’t have had it any different….
But now….things have changed….
I don’t work. I rarely leave the house. I haven’t been to the gym in months. I don’t even know where my batons are at the moment. I’ve lost the desire to go out. I’ve lost the fire to do the only sport I was really good at. I’ve lost a scheduled week routine.
Some nights, I can’t sleep because I’m telling myself “you have time now! You can practice, go to the store, play on your phone.” But I need sleep to take care of my daughter.
I feel like I need a lost and found box for my inner emotions and thoughts. Just something to help me keep track of where I went. Hopefully, with some small changes here and there, I can find the new me. The ME that manages the household, takes care of my child, takes time for myself and does what’s best for right now.
If you are feeling like you lost your way and can’t get back, just take a deep breath and tell yourself “you are you. This is a moment that will become a memory. I will overcome.”
It’s crazy how time gets away from us, you know?
The last few months I have been so busy in my mind that my body was on auto pilot sometimes. But now things are looking up. I have found my new drive. I have found my desire to keep blogging, even if no one reads it. I have found the fire to twirl and take better care of myself. I am in school and working towards some kind of degree as it may change in the next few months. Thank you to everyone who has been asking “Where’d you go?” “What happened to your blog?” “I’m getting an error when I try to check your site, what’s going on?” It means so much to me that you reached out to find out what is going on. I apologize for being away, but hopefully, this time, I’m here to stay.